After the Storm: How to Heal From a Traumatic Breakup

Aymes Sarah
7 min readApr 22, 2020

A mind, body, and soul guide to becoming a better you after a big life change

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Nine years ago, I had escaped from the most emotionally draining relationship I’ve ever experienced. I was 26-years-old and felt like I was 80-years-old. My body and mind were exhausted, my heart was hurting.

I was drained from self-sacrificing and tired from trying to make something work that would never function in a healthy way.

My turning point came slowly, I never hit a “rock bottom”. Instead, I continued nurturing myself spiritually and physically until I dropped my bad habits.

10 years later, I have a thriving marriage and a beautiful family who loves me.

I found my happy place, but it didn’t fall into my lap, I made it happen by living well and attracting good things into my life.

Why do we feel so shaken up after a breakup?

After a breakup, we experience so many emotions: Grief, sadness, anger, shock, and even relief.

People handle these emotions differently. Ironically, the first thing most people do after trauma is self-destructive. For some reason, we are punishing ourselves for the pain we feel.

There is no right way to heal after a breakup but there are wrong ways to cope:

  • I had lots of support but I pushed most of those people away.
  • I was young and healthy but I used alcohol at night to cope with my pain.
  • I had made mistakes, but I blamed everything on him.

Then there was another side of me, one that I was slowly nurturing:

  • I had found my spiritual path, was reading a lot of books and embracing yoga and meditation.
  • I was spending time with my dog Lucky, an old college friend and her children, learning so much from my friend about spirituality, parenting, and life.
  • I was distance running daily in the woods with Lucky, allowing the beauty of nature to nurture my body and spirit.

I was doing some wrong things and some right things. I was on the right track but I was floundering.

Aymes Sarah

Wife, mother, and researcher of a myriad of subjects. I love to write about anything and everything! Writer for The Startup, Better Marketing, & The Ascent👊