Are You Self-Sacrificing? Change Your Life With One Word

Aymes Sarah
6 min readMar 17, 2020

Why self-sacrifice is destructive and what you can do to curb the guilt associated with the word “No”

Image courtesy of ShiftGraphiX on Pexels

Saying “No” to people has always been a difficult thing for me. Even if the request is unreasonable, I still struggle with the guilt of disappointing someone in my life.

I was the most passive person I know and it led to me resenting people who didn’t deserve to be resented. This was my own fault. I said yes, way too many times when I should’ve been saying no.

I still struggle with this, I’m not good at making decisions or verbalizing what I want because of how I was raised. My parents are wonderful, loving people but I was quite sheltered and they always made decisions for me.

When I ventured into the world on my own, I was not prepared for the decision making that comes with being an adult.

Part of being a self-sufficient adult is knowing when to say no and when to say yes. I’m in my thirties and I am finally learning to listen to my gut instincts and only take on the tasks I can handle.

My health has gone downhill in the last year. I’ve been losing weight for no reason, experiencing numbness, shocks, and pain in my body, and I am extremely fatigued.

I am an army wife and a mom of a young toddler. No wonder I’m tired, right?

Due to my Post-partum Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, I have a problem with control. I forget that my friends, family, and husband are perfectly capable to look after Willow.

I think I can do it all, but I’ve been struggling to juggle my writing and all of my commitments.

Recently, I’ve realized I need to look after myself to be healthy for my family. This epiphany has led me to say no to many requests and I feel no remorse for doing so.

In a short period of time, I have gained self-worth. Truthfully, I’ve been feeling pretty comfortable with the word no.

In this life, sometimes you have to be a bit selfish.

Are you self-sacrificing?

When you continuously say yes to things you don’t want to do, this leads to self-sacrifice, which leads to resentment. Resentment…

Aymes Sarah

Wife, mother, and researcher of a myriad of subjects. I love to write about anything and everything! Writer for The Startup, Better Marketing, & The Ascent👊