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Are Your Parents Spoiling Your Children Too Much?
How to cope with overindulgent grandparents
The overindulgence that grandparents display with their grandchildren is purely out of love. They don’t call them “grand” parents for nothing!
Grandparents love to spoil their grandchildren. Sometimes, they even ignore the rules we have in place to do so. Subsequently, they are rarely around to witness the repercussions of their actions.
There is a healthy type of indulgence when it comes to children. This is emotional love, it makes them feel special. It’s quality time with Grampy or Grammy. It is doing crafts on a Saturday morning or going sledding on a snowy day. It’s reading them their favorite book over and over.
Then there is another kind of spoiling. This type of spoiling is probably the reason why they coined the term “spoiled” in reference to children. It’s disregarding the parents’ rules, it’s feeding a child too much junk food, and buying an overabundance of gifts. Many grandparents are notorious for this type of spoiling.
The former encourages emotional bonding, while the latter encourages bad habits and crosses boundaries. For example, continuously giving a child junk food can have major health consequences. Childhood obesity and diabetes are on the rise. Unfortunately, sugar is in most of our processed food. Giving a child too much sugar is adding to a growing problem and encouraging unhealthy eating habits.
One of the biggest sources of conflict with parents and grandparents is when the grandparent ignores the rules for behavior put in place by the parents. This is especially problematic when they tell the child not to tell the parents when allowing them to do something that is against the rules. The popular memes we have all seen on social media: “What happens at grandma’s stays at grandma’s” make my blood boil. Also, these quotes are not funny to me, just tacky. This attitude is demonstrating a lack of respect for the parent’s judgment.
What do you do when you are dealing with overindulgent grandparents?
- When the children are not present, have an open and honest conversation with your parents. Tell them you love them and appreciate everything they do, while respectfully airing your concerns.
