How I Ended my Friendship with a Narcissist

The parasitic nature of a narcissistic person, how to spot one, and what scares them the most

Image by Alex Iby on Unsplash

A few years ago I met a girl at a party. She was vibrant, hilarious, and loved animals. She had so many good qualities and literally lit up a room. This would be my first experience with a narcissist and I had no idea.

We became fast friends and we were inseparable. While I noticed some things about her behavior I didn’t like, I made excuses for her. She suffered from mental illness and I attributed her behavior to the demons she was dealing with.

Eventually, I introduced her to a guy and they became serious quickly. He was a good person, an empath like me. However, they had a very tumultuous relationship.

After a couple of years, they broke up and I was left to pick the pieces. Initially, I didn’t mind being there to console her. That’s what girlfriends do! I went to her house, made grocery runs, and cooked her dinner. However, it was never enough for her.

She called me crying multiple times a day, for weeks. I began to feel drained and irritable. My fiance became concerned about the amount of time and energy she was taking from me. I realized that I had to put some boundaries in place if our friendship was going to survive.

I gently brought up the idea of therapy. I advised her that friends can only listen and give guidance but a professional can help her cope with the loss of her partner. I told her that I wanted to help but that I couldn’t heal her from the breakup. She became enraged and began to distance herself.

After this conversation, I messaged her frequently only to receive no response. She deleted me off of social media and cut me out of her life completely. She told our friends in common that I wasn’t there for her when she needed me the most.

“When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth just like you did.” — Jill Blakeway