I Am Writing Through Grief After Losing My Dog and It Is Difficult

Aymes Sarah
4 min readJan 21, 2020

A personal story of writer’s block during a time of transition

Image by Radu Florin on Unsplash

Last Thursday, I experienced the death of someone very close to me for the first time in my life. I had to euthanize my best friend, my border collie Lucky.

Lucky was very sick and I made the right choice to let him go, but my heart feels like it has been ripped out and stomped into the ground.

I realize that I am fortunate to be 35 and going through this struggle now instead of when I was younger. I realize he wasn’t a human being.

However, this is my first true heartbreak over death and I am suffering.

I started writing as a career on December 8th, 2019. Since that day, I have had a steady flow of ideas, to the point that I had to make a list on my phone so I wouldn’t forget them all.

The list on my phone is full of ideas I am not passionate about right now. I decided to write about how I’m feeling instead.

It may not be read or recognized by anyone, but maybe it will help me purge this darkness inside of me.

I need to claw my way out of this abyss.

In my first month of freelance writing, I have been published by “The Startup” and had an article written about my work. My statistics are improving daily.

I feel like my medium experience has been very rewarding and I don’t want to lose my momentum.

Since losing my dear Lucky, I am suddenly experiencing writer’s block. I cannot think of anything but my grief.

I have to keep writing though, we are experiencing financial problems. I really want to help my family get out of debt. I also feel like writing helps me sort through my feelings.

I have been writing since he passed away and the only thing that I am proud of from the last week is the article I wrote about my departed friend.

I wrote it on the night he passed away, I thought I heard him in the middle of the night. When I got up to get some water, I decided to stay up and write a goodbye letter to him.

It wasn’t curated but it received over 600 reads from my friends and family and that meant a…

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Aymes Sarah

Wife, mother, and researcher of a myriad of subjects. I love to write about anything and everything! Writer for The Startup, Better Marketing, & The Ascent👊