Breaking this habit will change your life!
For most of my life, I’ve considered myself a passive person. I really dislike confrontation in any form and usually will bow out of most unpleasant situations by “letting the other person win”. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that this method of communication just isn’t working for me.
When one person allows another to take over completely and be constantly leading them, the power dynamic is thrown off. In most unhealthy relationships, there is a giver and a taker. I can almost guarantee you that the “giver” in this situation, is an extremely passive person. The “taker” will suck the energy out of the “giver” until there’s nothing left. We can all guess what happens after this, the predator is gone, off to acquire a new host. Unfortunately, this unfair exchange usually leaves the victim feeling downtrodden and used. The lack of self-esteem is perpetuated and unless the “giver” changes, this dynamic continues upon meeting another narcissist.
Narcissists tend to seek out people they can manipulate for their own gains. This could be an emotional, financial, or physical gain. These people may be friends, family, or a partner. Have you ever been around a person and felt completely drained afterward? Chances are, the person you are dealing with isn’t caring about your needs and only focusing on theirs. In the spiritual world, we call these people “energy vampires”. It is always good to keep a distance from anyone who makes you feel sucked dry. Creating distance from this person may be a wake-up call and the behavior could change. On the flip side, the person may leave to find a new victim. Whatever the outcome, their response to this tactic will tell you all you need to know.
Often times, the reason why we are passive is not totally clear, but what is evident is our thoughts about being assertive. We wonder to ourselves “what if they leave/dislike me for this statement/saying no?”. Well, I can promise you that anyone who cares about you will embrace this change, and even if they disagree, they will not leave. However, don’t be surprised if they are thrown off by this new you, it is a big change! If they do abandon you, you are probably dealing with a “taker”, and in that case, good riddance. We also question if we are being bossy or rude for…