Where Do You Fit In? The One Expectation That Will Kill Any Friendship
--
Best friends are not always forever
Good friendships are hard to find and even harder to maintain.
Recently, I’ve been reevaluating my friendship circle and thinking about where I fit into each of my friend’s lives.
Where did this pondering streak come from?
This quote I read on Facebook really resonated with me:
Sometimes you need to know your place in someone’s life, because you might get hurt if you expect too much. — Unknown
Have you ever read a quote and it stabs you right in “the feels”? This quote did something to me.
In the last couple of years, most of my close friends have been going through some kind of transition: Breakups, moving, university graduation or acceptance, babies, the decision not to have babies, and the list goes on.
I have never seen less of my friend circle and to be honest: It sucks!
It’s not just them though — it’s me too. I’m the matriarch of my little nuclear family and I’m a writer. As we all know, both of these roles can be isolating.
However, I still have time for those who matter to me. If you want to keep a friendship going, a two-way street is paramount.
Sometimes you need to know your place in someone’s life, because you might get hurt if you expect too much. — Unknown
Someone who is very dear to me taught me the lesson this quote is trying to get across. We were close friends for years, talked daily, and seen each other at least once a week.
Then a major transition happened in her life.
I watched her slip away and felt hurt the entire time. I reached out constantly and tried to salvage our dying friendship.
She would post pictures of herself with other friends at events I was not invited to. Whenever we hung out, it felt forced on her part.
I would write messages to her, asking to get together and never received an answer. That shit hurt and if I’m being honest, it still hurts.
